Dating as a Married Couple

I cannot believe that I'm doing this, but here goes my blogging debut.

This past Monday, Nov. 3, Matt and I hit 6 months of marriage. We were both a bit amazed by how fast it's gone by, but then again, it's hard to believe that we've been together for 7 1/2 years already! In reminiscing over the months and years, we remembered the weekend visits with each other - driving hours to be in the same state, and then cramming in a bunch of dates and activities thought up and planned during the intervening weeks while we were apart. We remembered the transformation that took place once I moved down to North Carolina in August 2006 - suddenly, the drives were merely minutes instead of hours to see one another. Without the distance, we found a new freedom in how we spent our time together. Things that once felt like a waste of time during our few, precious weekend visits were now wonderful, brand new ways to incorporate each other into our daily lives. When it used to be a phone conversation after dinner, or a quick email between classes, it could now be a conversation over coffee at Caribou or going for a walk (or lately, a run) together after work. Those first months of living in the same state was an amazing time for us - both as individuals, and as a couple.



[You all know the rest of the story! Reader's Digest version: we were engaged on December 30, 2006, bought our house on March 30, 2007, adopted Rockie and Rena on September 7, 2007, and were married on May 3, 2008!]



We realize though that while we love our relationship's transition into living together and being married, we've kinda forgotten to keep dating (each other, i mean). So we planned this past Wednesday as a date night. A date just like we used to all the time. We wanted to try someplace new. Well, I thought I was ahead of the game when I compiled my little list of a few places near us. I thought I would surprise him on Wednesday, let him pick whatever genre of food he wanted. Little did I know, he had it taken care of already! He messages me at work:

Matt: are you free for dinner tomorrow night at 7?

i hope so

don't make plans
me: you are so cute!
i'll have to check my calendar though

So it turns out I was free that night. Upon hearing rave reviews from Jason and Amber about this French restaurant near us, Matt had made reservations.

Savoy was amazing. We ended up doing the Chef's tasting menu which was a seven course dinner complete with wine pairings. (I could go on and on about the food, but I'm feeling a little self-conscious about the length of this post. I feel it is teetering towards a novela...)

This was really a special treat for us. For one thing, we have never spent so much on a meal together. Ever. (For those of you, *cough* Mike :o) *cough,* who know a little about our budget/financial goals, I should also note that we were also celebrating our early payoff my new Mazda3). Most importantly though, this was a wonderful return to dating. To remember and appreciate the way our relationship started, and grew, over our seven and a half years together. And even though we've been on more dates than I could count, dates with Matt can still make my pulse quicken.

Rena vs. String

I haven't posted anything in a while because I've had no time, but to tide you over, here is a video of Rena attacking a piece string. Cats are hard to film. At least Rena is, because she's insane and I can't keep up with her. This was the best I could do. I like this clip because she looks like a crazy, googly-eyed cartoon character when she gets a hold of that thing.

Football is Back!

Well I had planned to write this post a day or two ago to talk about how ridiculously excited I am that football is finally back for another season, but I never found the time. Given that I'm writing this a day after my Washington Redskins got trucked by the New York Giants, I expect this will be a little less enthusiastic than it would otherwise have been.

I might as well get that discussion out of the way early. Last night sucked, but I'm not as angry and depressed as I usually am after a loss. We have a new, rookie head coach, almost an entirely new coaching staff, and we're trying to install a brand new offensive system (again), which for most teams will take a full season, if not more, to really do effectively. So while I expected us to look a lot better, or at least moderately competent, in the game last night, I'm also expecting some ugliness, especially early on in the season. This team made the playoffs last year with a pretty crappy offense and lot of people injured. They hardly lost anyone in the offseason, so I see no reason why they can't do it again this year, even in a new system. That said, I won't be surprised to see us stumble to the finish this year and miss the playoffs by a long shot. That would be frustrating, but I'm approaching this season with a level of patience that's surprising even me.

Not his trophies.

Back to the broader topic. Football is back! After another of what always feels like an eternal offseason, we are finally back to days of real, actual football that matters. I LOVE football season. Everything about it. I love watching football, talking about football, fantasy football. Everything. Few things can beat cracking open a few beers, laying out some snacks, maybe getting some wings or firing up the grill, and settling down (or in my case, jumping around and yelling at the TV) to watch large, sweaty men in spandex run around with a ball and hit each other. There are many things that draw me and so many others to the game. I love the scheming and strategy. I'm constantly amazed watching players with more raw athletic talent than I could ever dream of possessing do things on the field every week that would break me in half and have me on crutches for months. And let's be honest, we all love the violence and brutatily of the game. It's awful, and sometimes scary, when players get hurt, but there's something morbidly satisfying about that crunch of the pads and watching a dude get completely knocked out of his shoes.

But above all, for me, it's the Redskins. Most people know that while I am also a huge Virginia Tech fan (Sean Glennon sucks. Just want to put that out there again.), my true football passion lies with the Redskins. Following and rooting for the Redskins is an obsession for me. I follow this team 365 days a year, through good times and bad. It's a part of me, and it always will be. I know I have my dad to thank for it, as he's always been as crazy, or maybe even more so, about the team as I am. When you follow a team so closely all year, finally getting the chance to see what they've put together for the new season, good or bad, is just fantastic. I wonder sometimes how interested I would be in football if I wasn't such a loyal fanatic of the team. I'm sure I would still love the game, but I know it wouldn't be the same. I just wish one of these years they would make my annual prediction come true and actually win a Super Bowl. If I say it every year it has to come true eventually, right?

I will end this post with an ode to Meg, who puts up with me despite this quality (or flaw, depending on who you ask). Not only does she put up with it, she gets excited about the season and the games each week, even wearing her Clinton Portis jersey for every game. Justifiably, she has a hard time maintaining the same level of interest as I do throughout the season, but she tries, and I love that about her. Even if she didn't try to enjoy it herself, the sheer fact that she's able to deal with me is amazing to me, and something I truly appreciate. I'm ridiculous and I know it, but I can't help it. To top it all off, as if she needed to do anything else, my wedding present from her was a Redskins flag to hang from the house every gameday (once I buy a flag holder and a pole), and NFL Sunday Ticket for this season. So I will be showing my spirit and watching not only the Redskins, but any flippin' NFL game I want, in high definition, all season long. Awesome times infinity.

So here's to another season of the greatest sport on Earth! And here's to the Redskins not sucking as much as they did last night anymore! And to all of my non-football-loving friends, my apologies in advance for the next six months. But it's gonna be awesome.

Oh, and I highly recommend checking out Chris Cooley's blog. He's our starting Tight End, and a pretty cool dude. Redskins fan or not, it's pretty entertaining.

This guy...

...is bad at football. Here's to either Frank Beamer coming to his senses and playing Tyrod Taylor at QB, or a very, very long season.

East Carolina 27, Virginia Tech 22

Go Hokies.


UPDATE: I would like to thank Frank Beamer for listening to me. It's nice to be appreciated.

felines and fungus

I really didn't want to make this the topic of my first actual blog post since 2005, but I just couldn't help it. This has been an ongoing saga in our house and since new events have transpired recently it's been on my mind a lot, so it's what I'm writing about. This might be long...

Anyone who has been around us much in the last year or so knows we adopted two cats - Rockie and Rena - from the Safe Haven for Ringworm Cats no-kill shelter in Raleigh. If you look at the pictures, Rena is the cute little black and white tuxedo cat who for some reason in photographs looks like she's going to turn you to stone and eat your soul if you look directly into her eyes. She was 1-2 years old when we adopted her, according to the shelter. Rockie is the not quite so attractive, somewhat dingy and ugly, but lovable, cat who is fluffy in half the pictures and shaved like giant rat in the other half. The shelter said he was 7-9 years old.

Let's talk about Rockie. Rockie is FIV positive and what they call a "special needs" cat. He had been at the shelter for so long without finding a home that they waived the adoption fee when we said we wanted him. We knew he was going to be a project and need some serious TLC, but you should have seen him that day. When they opened his crate at the shelter he crawled right into Meg's arms. They took us into the playroom and I don't think I've ever seen a sweeter animal with such a craving for some basic affection and a real home. Meg fell in love with him immediately, and while I admit I took a little convincing, having gone in sort of expecting to walk out with kittens, I fell in love with him too. It was impossible not to, and despite everything I'm about to say, it still is.


Fast forward to.... well, pretty much right after that. Rockie picks up ringworm. Really it's more likely that he already had ringworm when he came home from the shelter. Regardless of when and where he got it, he gave it to us. Getting ringworm generally results in extremely itchy, ring-shaped, rather gross-looking spots on your skin. Athlete's foot, jock itch... all ringworm. The name they give it just depends on where it is on you. We figured out it was ringworm when Meg's friend at work said to her, "ew, gross, that looks like ringworm." A little searching on the interwebs and we were pretty much certain she was right.

We took Rockie to the vet to confirm that we were correct in our diagnosis, which they do by using a special UV lamp in the dark that makes the fungus glow bright green. It's kind of awesome and weird. They told us what they do for ringworm is completely shave the animal, bathe them with a medicated shampoo, and start them on an oral antifungal medication. We'd also need to bathe him ourselves somewhat regularly while the medicine did its work. He needed a dental check-up too, so we scheduled both of these things on the same day. Rough day at the doctor for Rockie. They had to knock him out for the dental exam, which made the shaving a lot easier since for them since they didn't have to fight with him over it. But for Rockie it meant that he showed up at the vet that day a perfectly normal, fungus-covered cat, and woke up hours later completely naked with a sore mouth.


A week or two later, Rockie cleared up, thankfully, and all was well in the world again. Until about 6 months later when it happened again. Lather, rinse, repeat. While any animal can get ringworm, most of them don't because their immune systems are able to fight it off. With Rockie's FIV, his immune system is always compromised, so he can't fight it off like a regular cat. He never really shows any visible signs of ringworm, although he does get itchy. We know he has it again when we get it again (explain to me why Rena, the cat, can fight this off better than I can). This time around we decided that Meg and I would keep him shaved and continue to bathe him fairly regularly to keep the ringworm away from him. I admit that we did not do this as regularly as we intended to, but we did do it. Fast forward again to now, though, and Rockie has it again. $@#%!

Last week Meg took Rockie to the NC State Veterinary Teaching Hospital, where they have specialists in dermatology. They were recommended by our vet. Why they never mentioned this place before we have no idea, but it's pretty awesome that it's there and so close by. Meg was there with Rockie for four hours while the doctors turned him into a science experiment, taking sample after sample of his skin, hair, and general crustiness. They sent him home with two new medications. One is a topical treatment that we have to smear all over his body every three days. The other is a different kind of oral medication. We learned that the oral medication our vet had given us before has immunosuppresant properties and really should never be given, especially to an FIV-positive cat. Minus 5 points for our vet. This vet, like the other vet, is also certain that the ringworm will not come back. Because that just never happens on this treatment plan. To this, we say, "You've got to be kidding me. This is the THIRD TIME!" But what can we do. We'll do as we're told and make the little dude feel better. It's a different treatment, so while I have approximately zero confidence that it isn't going to come back again, I'll give the vet the benefit of the doubt. If it does come back, then we'll have to put our foot down and figure out a true, long-term solution.


This post has gotten crazy long, but I guess it's been kind of a crazy story. It's hard to describe the frustration of this whole ordeal. Between having to tell our friends and family not to come to our house for fear of giving them ringworm, and feeling the need to slather antifungal cream on anything and everything that itches because we think it might be ringworm, this has not been fun, to say the least. In fact, it's been really crappy. It's funny though.... this cat has almost no redeeming qualities. He's rather ugly. He's awkward. He's clumsy. He's scraggly and unkempt (or unthrifty, as the dermatologist's report stated). He sucks at cleaning himself. And he gives everyone fungus. Yet we love him to death. When he jumps up on your lap and gives you his tiny, hopeful, pathetic attempt at a meow, and then tries three times to curl up in your lap without falling off, you just can't help but love him. This cat has had a rough life, and it shows. All we want is to know that we took this lonely, sick, beat-up cat that nobody wanted, gave him a good home with people who love him and care for him, and let him live out the rest of his days, happy for once in his life. And he is happy now. That's what makes it all worth it. It's a nice feeling knowing that you truly rescued an animal that needed help. It helps his case that he's the sweetest animal I have ever known. He's part of the family now, and despite all my complaining about him, I wouldn't give him up for anything. So that's that.

I could do without the fungus though.

Return of the Blog!!

I just noticed that Mike and Liz put a link to our blog on their blog, so I figured I should put something here so people don't come here and get confused by the fact that the last post was in October 2005. I started this blog in February 2005 and I blogged INTENSELY for 9 months (I made 10 posts. I didn't blog intensely. I just said that as a funny joke.). Now I've decided to start it up again, because I have some really important and profound things to say. This blog is going change your life. I'm trying to get Meg to participate too, so I've made it our blog instead of my personal blog. Hopefully she'll write some things here as well. Then this blog will change your life 2 times over.

I have no idea where to even start with this thing. A lot has happened since October 2005, and it would fill up this entire space if I tried to talk about everything. I think we'll just start from here and fill in the blanks as we go. What will the first topic be???? You'll have to wait and find out!! See how I did that? Now you have to come back to the blog again. I am cunning beyond words.

fast food rage!

It got to be after 11:00 tonight and I hadn't eaten any dinner yet. That was too late for me to feel like cooking something, and I had to take a movie back to Blockbuster anyway, so I figured I'd stop at McDonald's while I was out there. So I did. It was closed. "Well crap," I said. But fine, I guess I just picked the reject McDonald's that closes early. So I head for the other McDonald's I know of, except I go the wrong way on the highway (big surprise there). Luckily, the next exit has a McDonald's anyway, so I go there. And IT'S CLOSED TOO! Now I'm pissed. It's SATURDAY, at 11:30 in Raleigh, NC. All I want is one goddamn double quarter pounder with cheese and NO ONE WILL GIVE IT TO ME! By then it was midnight. I finally went to the one I meant to go to after the first one was closed, and it was open. My THIRD McDonald's, and it's open. 11:30 ON A SATURDAY, and ONE out of THREE McDonald's is open. And just to put a little extra frost on my balls, not only was this one open, it was open 24 hours. So apparently around here McDonald's either closes at 7:30 PM when grandma goes to bed, or they're open even damned second of the day. Keep that in mind when you're in Raleigh at 11:30 on a Saturday and you want a f-ing McDonald's sandwich. I'm so mad I wrote this rant before I even ate my stupid sandwich. I bet it won't even taste good. They probably gave me chicken mcnuggets by mistake. Goodnight.

EDIT: I got a single quarter pounder with cheese in a double quarter pounder box, and got charged for a double. I want to set everyone on fire.

i am a waste of space

<---- me.....except that's a cat, and i'm a person.

I'm sitting here by myself on the couch on a Saturday, and I'm realizing, as I often do, what a giant waste of space I am. Granted, weekends are meant for relaxing. Since I spend so many of my weekends traveling up to Maryland, or spending time with Meg when she comes down to Raleigh, it's nice to have a quiet weekend once in a while when I don't have to do anything. The problem is that I actually don't do anything. I always tell myself I'm going to be productive and get some things accomplished that I never have time to work on during the week or over the non-free weekends, but it never happens. Part of it is that I'm just a typical lazy American. Nothing I can do about that. I'm wired to be lazy, and I'll use that bad excuse until the day I die. But there's more to it that I can't quite put my finger on. Begin unnecessary new paragraph:

I'd like to get some cleaning done, or wash my car, or maybe go running or go to the gym. I also have a lot of things for work that I would like to spend time on. That sounds pretty dumb for a weekend activity, but I don't think it's that weird. In my job I end up being a guy that has to answer a lot of questions from a lot of people. That's not because I'm any smarter or more important than anyone else. I'm definitely not. It's just because the work I do on our product gets used by almost everyone else on the team. I'm not going to attempt to explain my job because I have failed in every attempt I've ever made to do that, and I will just confuse you because I'm terrible at explaining things. The point I'm getting to is that an excessively large portion of my work days is spent answering all the questions and trying to help people with problems. I wouldn't mind so much, except that it keeps me from doing the actual work I want and need to be doing. We talk about a lot of cool things we want to do at work, but we never have time to work on them because of all the interruptions and unexpected issues, and it's frustrating. I hate leaving work completely burnt out, yet having nothing tangible to show for my hard work that day. That would be my biggest complaint about my job.

So that's why I say I want to be doing things for work on the weekend, rather than wasting the days away like I usually do. I would even have fun working on that stuff, as nerdy as they might be. I can't pretend I'm not a giant nerd. But when you always leave work tired, stressed, and burnt out, you don't want to think about work anymore when you're at home. That's my one explanation for why I have so much trouble motivating myself. I still think I have motivation problems for other reasons, though. I just don't know what they are. I hate the feeling of having wasted time when I could have been doing so many other, more useful, things. I hate the feeling so much that you would think it would cause me to not do it anymore, but it doesn't. Maybe it's normal, I don't know. But I hate it.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. It was just on my mind. Hopefully I'll figure it out one day and feel less bad about myself. I'll have to figure it out one day. I'll have a house and a family and responsibilities coming out my butt, and I won't have time to waste time anymore. Maybe I should enjoy it while my life still allows me to. But the day I can't afford to waste time anymore is also the day I can't spend as much of my time doing things just because I want to. That's a scary thought.

Somehow it's after 5:00 already. Time to go eat, do laundry, and finish watching USC vs. Notre Dame. Notre Dame is up 21-14 right now. I hate Notre Dame, but not as much as I would love seeing USC lose, so I have to root for them today. Maybe while I watch I'll try to figure out what the hell to do with myself for the rest of the weekend. I have to go to a bar to watch the Redskins game tomorrow, since the stupid #$%@#%! Panthers are playing at the same time and taking up the TV slot. I expect everyone to be rooting for Joe Gibbs tomorrow. I know you won't let me down. Everyone enjoy your weekend. I'll try to be less reflective and depressing next time.